A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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