he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
