I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
