For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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