no you cant smoke seaweed
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
