He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
