what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
