if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
