Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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