what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
