im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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