You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
