Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
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