There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
