Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You are a genius and a whore.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
