no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
