; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
