just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
