Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
