Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Everclear isn't food dammit
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
