didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
