I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
