I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
