you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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