Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
