need another drink. this is the easiest way
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
