Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
