I wish my penis had an off switch
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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