how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
