If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
