its not stalking. its research.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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