You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Randomize
