So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
