They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Randomize
