somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
