lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
