Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
