i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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