sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
