OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I need moral support for this bender
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Randomize
