Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
PANTIES FOUND
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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