i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
