I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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