oh god the rape fog is back!
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
