is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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