Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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