show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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