eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
