Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
