Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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