What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
