She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
We were destined to go to rehab together
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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