420 ftw
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
