She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Who died my cat blue again?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
