how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
